Bipolar

Sound’s great, doesn’t it?  *smile*  If you’re thinking this sound scary, look at it this way: a mood disorder can only amplify a person’s existing personality.  If they were nice before they got sick, they’ll be nicer now that they are.  If they were a jerk, well, they’re just going to be an even bigger jerk.  I wasn’t scary before I got sick, so why would I suddenly become scary now?

I was diagnosed Bipolar I when I was 15 when I had my first manic episode.  I present as rapid cycling – about two weeks per swing.  When I first became ill, I would swing multiple times in a day which was a nightmare.  Fortunately, the current swing cycle gives me a lot more ‘down’ time where I’m not in one extreme or another.

Bipolar involves mood swings, and they can present as mania, hypomania, depression or mixed swings.  I also have a great deal of free floating anxiety, and occasionally I will have mild bouts of paranoia.

And here’s the nice part of rapid cycling: no matter where I am in the swing cycle, I know it will only be a few days TOPS until I feel better again.  That makes it, in my mind, far far easier to survive than the classic multi-month swing.  Horridly depressed and suicidal?  Well, I just have to live for three more days and I will be okay again.  It’s predictable enough that it’s almost a benefit.


Posts relating to Bipolar:

We Chose Not to Have Kids…

5 Reasons I’m Compliant with My Meds

Is it True? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?

Fighting Fairly When Bipolar

Taking Responsibility for My Actions Despite Mental Illness

“So I’m going to put out an unpopular opinion here.  One of the biggest parts of maintaining relationships throughout my mood swings is taking responsibility for all the stupid things I do and say when manic and occasionally when depressed.”