In Which I Was Assaulted By a Toilet

Well, I had my tubes tied.

Actually, the entire fallopian tubes were removed, which turned out to be a good thing because one had a cyst in it blocking the tube.

The first week or so I felt like a truck hit me, and I was struggling, not going to lie, but a full week out I perked up and started moving around more easily.

It really helped to have a small pillow to press against my stomach when I moved or coughed/sneezed.

BUT, that’s not why you’re reading this post.

Let me tell you about the time I was assaulted by a toilet.

I was making my final piddle break prior to surgery, and I flushed and turned away to wash my hands.

Behind me, the clean water pipe apparently had enough of life because it sprung a leak and SPRAYED water at pressure all over the ceiling, me, the room outside, the works.

It was raining in the bathroom when it finished flushing, water dripping from the ceiling and everything. My hair was a dripping mess, but w didn’t get any of it on the FRONT of me, and that’s where the surgery would be so whatever. The water was clean.

It only got my, mostly naked, back so I didn’t care and just laughed. I let staff know, and we got a ‘I’m sorry your toilet exploded’ gift certificate, which was unnecessary but makes the story even funnier.

Only I could go to have surgery and show up to the operating room dripping water. *smile*

Plus they got my IV on the first try, which has NEVER happened, and I was hugely impressed.

All in all, went well, and I’ve healed enough to itch so I have something new to complain about!

Do you have any ridiculous surgery stories?


As per usual, illustration is from Midjourney AI.

2 thoughts on “In Which I Was Assaulted By a Toilet

  1. I’m so glad your surgery went well. I’m sorry you had a shower before your surgery. Just a story to tell folks similar to the taking your wisdom teeth out in your neck and not your mouth.

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